Chapter Fifty-Five — Recalling the Past

Yan Lu, familiar with the place, quickly found a table for four and sat down with Yi Shu to save seats, instructing Lu Xu Gao to buy their meals.

After seven o’clock, the number of diners in the cafeteria had noticeably dwindled. The hygiene was decent—after meals, someone was assigned to tidy up. Overhead, four one-hundred-watt incandescent lights hung from each direction, creating a warm illusion.

In the months Yi Shu and Yan Lu had spent apart, it seemed they had drifted into two different worlds. Once, though sharing the same world, they had stood at opposite ends, sometimes near, sometimes distant. Now, Yi Shu remained where she was, or perhaps had shifted a few steps toward a certain direction. Yan Lu, without realizing it, had crossed into another world. The distance between them had not changed much, but they now existed in separate spaces. The thought made Yi Shu feel a faint sorrow.

Yan Lu was never picky about her dining environment, so long as it met basic standards of cleanliness. In the past, dressed in knock-off clothes, sitting in street-side skewer joints, she possessed a certain gritty elegance. Now, in her simple attire, she seemed perfectly in tune with her surroundings.

“Yan Lu—” Yi Shu withdrew her wandering gaze.

“I know, you must have a lot of questions for me.” She glanced at Lu Xu Gao, who was walking over with their food. “Let’s talk as we eat.”

Lu Xu Gao carried a tray brimming with three bowls of rice and four dishes. He wanted to buy two more, but the tray was full.

“I’ll go get two more dishes. Four dishes for three people isn’t enough,” he said, standing up.

“Wait a moment,” Yi Shu called him back. “This should be enough for now. If it’s not, we can get more.”

“It’ll all be gone soon,” Lu Xu Gao replied, poised to act. “Almost everything’s been eaten already.”

For those working in Yunbei, aside from earning money, filling their stomachs was their only pursuit. They dared not hope for much in terms of quality of life.

Yi Shu saw happiness and contentment etched into the lines of their faces. The marks of hardship, instead of detracting, served as badges of affirmation.

“Go, quickly!” Yan Lu nudged Lu Xu Gao and turned to Yi Shu. “Why do you always try to save him money?”

Yi Shu teased her, “Am I not just trying to save money? His money is, after all, our money now.”

Yan Lu blushed, lowering her eyes. “When did you become so eloquent? It seems Xu Shixi must have trained you well.”

Yi Shu’s heart tightened, touched upon a sore spot. Sourness surged to her nose; her breathing was blocked. She inhaled deeply, making her nose sting even more, her eyes filling with dampness.

Yan Lu, still embarrassed, fiddled with her chopsticks, stirring her food. She failed to notice Yi Shu’s desolation across the table.

“Hurry up and eat!” Lu Xu Gao soon returned with two plates of meat dishes, placing them between Yan Lu and Yi Shu.

Yi Shu widened her eyes, letting the moisture evaporate into the air.

The three of them began the main event of the evening.

“Can we talk now?” Yi Shu set down her chopsticks. She had no appetite; all her attention was focused on Yan Lu and Lu Xu Gao, on those unresolved mysteries churning her stomach.

Yan Lu finished chewing and said, “I’ve said goodbye to my past. This will be my future.” She patted Lu Xu Gao beside her.

A week after Yan Lu disappeared, Lu Xu Gao found her in a shabby hotel on Yun City’s old street. She had called him herself. When he found her, she hadn’t eaten for a day and a night. The room was paid up only until noon the next day.

Lu Xu Gao’s heart broke. Tears, large as beans, rolled from his dark eyes, burning his young cheeks, searing his youthful innocence.

He dashed downstairs to buy heaps of food. He watched her eat, watched her smile, while she watched him cry.

That night, there was no moon, no stars, no light, no wind—no world at all. Only the two of them.

She gave herself to him. His hands trembled as he cradled the fragile bud, vowing to shield her from storms until it bloomed.

He repeated the vow silently, again and again.

Both of them grew, almost instantly.

Yi Shu half-understood, “So, how did you end up here?”

Yan Lu pointed at Lu Xu Gao. “It was him.”

“Yes, it was me,” Lu Xu Gao responded swiftly.

They stayed at the hotel until noon the next day.

The old street flowed by like a gentle river, slow and easy, cicadas chirping in chorus, blending with the breeze to form a natural barrier. The searing sun was kept at bay by wind and insect song.

Yan Lu went home with Lu Xu Gao. The house was a mess.

The days without her had robbed his life of meaning—did he even have a life left to speak of?

Yan Lu rolled up her sleeves without a word, went to fetch a rag and a broom. Just as she bent to clean, Lu Xu Gao pulled her back.

Together, they explored the path their future would take, within the space that belonged to them.

Yan Lu’s father visited once. He’d learned from Yan Lu’s mother where she lived, and regardless of weather, came daily to check on her.

He was a taciturn man, bearing a resemblance to Lu Xu Gao. He dared not defy Yan Lu’s mother, but ultimately could not let go of his daughter.

After a conversation, Yan Lu’s father affirmed Lu Xu Gao’s character. He saw a reflection of his younger self in him. The hardest thing in life is, after years have flowed by, to find the young version of oneself again.

Yan Lu’s father’s age was overshadowed by his weariness. Yan Lu was torn apart inside.

Before leaving, he pleaded with her to go home, see her mother, apologize, and perhaps things would clear up. Yan Lu turned her head away, hard-hearted. Her father sighed helplessly and walked toward the elevator.

Yan Lu would never forget the silhouette, dragged down by grief, cast in the dim corridor, always thrown at her feet. In a world so dark, how could there still be shadows? Perhaps his sorrow outweighed the darkness.

A few days later, before moving out, Yan Lu secretly returned to Blue Sea City neighborhood alone. She wanted to see her mother from afar, confirm she was well, and ease her conscience. Upon arrival, she saw Yi Shu at the gate, and followed her.

Seeing her mother at peace, Yan Lu finally waved her sleeve and departed, leaving no trace behind.

Yet, reassurance could never outweigh worry and heartache.

With Lu Xu Yang’s help, Lu Xu Gao found a foothold in Yunbei. Years ago, after moving to Yun City from Guangzhou, Lu Xu Yang had met a business peer. That peer showed remarkable foresight and invited him to join a partnership. But cautious by nature, Lu Xu Yang dared not venture into uncertain industries.

In the early 2000s, express delivery and logistics were just beginning. Online stores were few compared to today. Logistics had started to take shape, but mostly consisted of small, privately operated companies with poor reliability. Lost packages were commonplace.

Faced with a new, untested field, Lu Xu Yang backed away. He admitted to cowardice, even timidity.

In the end, he took an unremarkable job as a shipping clerk at Kaisheng.

The man who had encouraged Lu Xu Yang to start a business was now the regional manager of Gale Logistics in Yun City. In the month before Lu Xu Yang left Kaisheng, he tried once more to persuade him.

Lu Xu Gao and his cousin worked at Kaisheng together for a week, and happened to hear about this. It lodged in his mind.

Now, at the “life-or-death” moment, he cast aside pride and asked Lu Xu Yang to connect him. In the face of some things, dignity is negligible, a wisp.

At first, Lu Xu Yang tried to persuade him: at twenty-four, one should be steady, content with security, even if income was modest. There were too few successes, too many failures, too few great people, too many ordinary ones. Why risk everything for uncertain outcomes?

Lu Xu Gao was unmoved. He had considered all those questions. The fear of failure had haunted him. Before meeting Yan Lu, he had planned to follow his cousin’s path, stepping in his footprints, feeling the indentations even with his eyes closed, walking easily toward the end of life.

All this changed after meeting her. The world turned upside down.